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Muttz Nutz Returns
Muttz Nutz Returns
rubbafish by Colin Weston May 30th, 2001
Welcome, welcome one and all... yes, the man with the stylish white shirt with tie back sleeves returns with more random musings on the world we live in known as... MUSICWORLD!!! (not as good as Disney World but better then that Kevin Costner 'film' Waterworld.)

'It's the end of the world as we know... and I'm shitting bricks!' Surely this lyric is more accurate then the R.E.M original?

When did Jacques Le Cont join S Club 7... you heard their new single? Maybe they should rechange their name to Les No Rhythems Digitales?

Are Wheatus a Third Eye Blind tribute band? Well, Teenage Dirtbag is a remix of Semi Charmed Life... isn't it?

Have you noticed how football and music is tied together now? I mean, we have the Man City yobs (AKA Oasis), we have had Wet Wet Wet and the Super Furry Animals sponsoring football teams and then, of course, we have club songs.

Who can ever forget 'Pass & Move- The Liverpool Groove', New Order & England with 'World In Motion' or Madness frontman Suggs and Chelsea FC singing 'Blue Day.' Rumours are that my beloved Doncaster Rovers are going to make a club song for next season... a remake of Mel C's 'Going Down'!

Unecessary anger moment, J-Lo (or that bird who was doing that Puff Daddy bloke, for everyone not in the know) on her 'Play' single. 'Play My Mutha Fucking Song!!!!' Why should we? Is continuous radio play not enough for the 'lady' with as much talent as my over sized hairy arse? She only gets any attention at all because she has a body that sells FHM by the shed load!

Here is something that kept me amused. Remember the 'New Radicals'? You know, that band who's lead singer was so self concious about his looks that he covered his face with a hat. Well, anyway, that one song that they did? 'You Get What You Give' or something like that... remember this lyric from the song' :-

With the aid of 8 Dust Brothers Beck, Hanson
Courtney Love and Marilyn Manson
You're all fakes, run to your mansions
Come around, we'll kick your ass in!

Hmm, despite your attack on artist who EARNED fame, who is still popular and who has vanished for being a bag of bollocks? I think their pathetic argument feel on deaf ears, but at least they got the MTV coverage they craved.

Something that has been bugging me. Anyone else notice that during the time Michael Jackson was accused of all kinda of weird things, Bubbles, his pet chimp, went missing. Weeks later, we have Ian Brown... coincidence or genetic accident?

Anyway, it is time to settle another myth. This weeks is 'Nirvana... how so popular?' Well, this is how it is...

After several albums, the band were happy with their underground following and so continued doing their thing. However, due to a freak accident, their latest single at the time, 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' got a freak playing on BBC Radio 2. With all the housewives listening at the time, the lyrics seemed to make sense... it was the new Tupperware advert. The public heard those lyrics 'Here we are now, in containers' and due to the power of the music buying public of the Woganites, Nirvana went over ground. It is that simple... aren't you all glad I know these things?

Again, it is silly chart time. This week, toilet humour :-

1) Wee Will Rock You - Queen
2) Hopelesly Devoted To Poo - Olivia Newton John
3) Theme Tune To S.L.A.S.H - Manic Street Preachers
4) Music Too Watch Hurls By - Andy Williams
5) Penis Diablo - Tura Satana
6) Bum Baby Come- K7
7) Owner Of Lonely Farts - 'A' (I prefer their cover version)
8) My Constipation - The Who
9) Cock of The Bay - Otis Reading
10) Willy Jean - Michael Jackson

Anyway, I better go now.. I have to find some cheap TLC albums so Destiny's Child have some new material for their next album. Peace out my funk soul brothers.



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