THIS SITE HAS BEEN ARCHIVED AND CLOSED.

The reasons for …And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead’s recent divorce from the Interscope label have been laid completely bare by band frontman Conrad Keely.

In a tirade penned and plastered onto the news page of the band’s website like some irate flyposting, Keely railed first against his old boss at Interscope:

“Ever since label head Jimmy Iovine started dating the lead singer guy of the Pussycat Dolls it became impossible to get him on the phone, so that was a first bad sign.

“And I love Jimmy Iovine for having worked with John Lennon and Phil Spector on the Rock and Roll sessions. I mean, that was thirty years ago, and the Rock and Roll sessions sound pretty bad over all, and John Lennon is now dead and Phil Spector has murdered people since then, but hey, that was really cool that Jimmy did that, thirty years ago, back then, and dated Stevie Nicks.

“He's had a great dating record, he just won't have the next TOD record.”

It’s in the interests of concision that we restrict this rant to one article; true idle news gannets could probably wring four or five different puddles of sweat from Keely’s missive. What’s next on the man’s list?

“Their idea of marketing became keeping it a secret that we'd released a record. The industry is in a strange place these days, and the only way they can make money is to sell urban pop music. Which is what I thought we were writing, but apparently I was wrong.”

“ That's not saying the label didn't do great things for us. At the expense of a massive debt to them of half a million dollars, they really helped us to grow. They've taught us about the worthlessness of A&R people, how to yell at idiots running an art department, and how to shake hands with smiling retailers who have no idea who you are.”

Moving away from the band’s financial dealings, he hopes to “kill all the Muslims and Christians,” hates “the basketball video game” his bandmates play on the back of the tour bus and is frustrated by Ratatat who sound “like a great band where they accidentally erased all the vocal tracks”.

He also spoke to Yahoo.com for a “recent email interview when I was asked a bunch of dumb questions so I gave a bunch of what I thought were even less relevant answers;” picking out these glittering exchanges:

Q: If I weren't a musician I'd probably be a (fill in the blank) because (fill in the blank).
A: Serial killer, because I love to kill people.

Q: What's the strangest thing you've seen from the stage while performing?
A: I saw a black dog, with white skin. I saw a lioness without a cub, feeding the young of eagles, with grey talons from the sleek bark of the baobab tree.

The now label-less band are currently on tour in the US, supported by a fictional cartoon metal called Dethlok with an equally fictional guitarist called Skwisgaar Skwigelf.

"He and I will no doubt have many things to talk about," supposes Keely.

UPDATE; 1/11/07: the missive has been taken down overnight for some, probably legal, reason.