The balding, the bland and the behemoth have been plotting their final assault on the ears, eyes and throats of the world's youth, it seems. Here's this season's social calendar for the filthy rich.
We might as well start with the biggest and work our way down the food chain. The Rolling Stones, the biggest band in the world, have announced that Kasabian are to follow G'n'R and The Kaisers as support for their current European Tour. The oddly Mancunian Leicester boys will open in Zurich on August 5th and in Nice on the 8th.
Like good milk gone sour, The Who will continue to bust out their cool dad threads at stages 'worldwide' from September, starting in Philadelphia and working through locations as exotic as Canada and England, arriving at London's John Labatt Centre on September 30th. Oh no, wait... that's London, Ontario, Canada. So 'world tour' as in the US and Canada, then. Wicked.
The more provincial geezer-prince Robbie Williams has released more tickets for his huge shows in Milton Keynes, also in September. The make-your-mum-happy button is located here.
Snow Patrol have been given the all clear to tour again, after being forced to abandon an entire US tour due to frontman Gary Lightbody's illness:
"I saw the doctor in Glasgow this week and he gave me a clean bill of health. The gigs for the rest of the year are on and we're itching to get on the road."
Here's hoping that particular medic has a keen eye for sabotage.
Last and least, Embrace have added a further five dates to their October tour due to ridiculous levels of demand. Folkestone, Brighton, Portsmouth, Reading and Blackburn will now play host to the brothers McNamara. I've posted the entire tour schedule below, with the new dates handily starred.
September
21 Hull City Hall
22 Norwich WEA
23 Cambridge Corn Exchange
24 Cardiff University Great Hall
26 Exeter Great Hall
27 Bristol Colston Hall
29 London Hammersmith Apollo
October
2 Folkestone Leas Cliff Hall*
3 Brighton Dome*
4 Portsmouth Guildhall*
6 Reading Hexagon*
8 Derby Assembly Rooms
9 Carlisle Sands Centre
10 Glasgow Academy
13 Manchester Apollo
14 Manchester Apollo
15 Blackburn King Georges*
16 Leicester De Montford Hall
18 Birmingham Academy
19 Newcastle Academy
20 Middlesbrough Town Hall
22 Liverpool University
23 Doncaster Dome
That is all. I apologise profusely if I have wasted your time this afternoon.