Thank God for unpredictability!

At a time when 99% of the demos I get to hear sound like bad copies of the Manics or The Strokes, or worse still, Nirvana wannabees, it makes a change to hear something that musically sounds like Ginger Wildheart fronting Menswear!

I kid you not, if Camden's finest bunch of poseurs had written something as aesthetically unpleasant as 'Dildo Massacre' I would have laughed incessantly rather than cringed at their "we are real Mods guv, honest???" stab at integrity, but enough of them, lets talk about The Dilaters...

Well for starters there's five of 'em, led by the delightfully monickered Sebastian Vulva on vocals who sounds equal amounts said Wildhearts' frontman and Seymour Glass (if that were at all possible, which it is), sometimes during the same song (check the title track for instance).

Better still though are the lyrics - check out these little gems from 'Dildo Massacre' - "I'll make you quiver, with my pleasure poker!" or even "I've got a weapon, it's a pulse racer, you're going to heaven, with my penetrator!". Or even check out 'Delicious'- "My how you're looking thinner, I'm gonna have you round for dinner, I'm gonna microwave yer!!"

God knows what they're putting in the Severn Trent water supplies nowadays but it hasn't reached me yet. Still it sounds better than "Breathe deeper, daydreamer", while even the artwork on the CD cover looks like some superimposed seventies porn flick with two scantilly clad girls wielding riding whips in a suggestive manner.

I await seeing their live show with unbridled anticipation.