and makes the album sound utterly insanely awful and disturbing. from www.markprindle.com, of course:

Love Grenade - Eagle Rock Entertainment 2007
Rating = 3

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
For National Launch of Ted Nugent "Love Grenade" CD
Prepared by Eagle Rock Public Relations
9/01/07

Q. What is the meaning of the phrase "Love Grenade"?
A. "Love Grenade" is a witty double-entendre of the sort that Mr. Nugent has used throughout his songwriting career. In the title track, 'Uncle Ted' uses an extended metaphor comparing a romantic liaison to a wartime battle.

Q. Isn't it inappropriate for Mr. Nugent to paint a frivolous picture of war at the same time that increasing numbers of American soldiers are dying in Iraq?
A. Not at all. In fact, the verse "I'm on the frontlines of love/Jump in a foxhole with me/Your body armor will do you no good/I am your first casualty" expresses 'Uncle Ted''s solidarity with the men on the front line who are losing their lives due to inefficient body armor. Ted Nugent is an American - a True American.

Q. Is it true that Mr. Nugent has in the past boasted of using subterfuge to avoid serving in the Vietnam War?
A. Mr. Nugent has a sly sense of humor, and may have spun a tall tale or two in his day. It's best to take such proclamations with a grain of salt however, because 'Uncle Ted' has spent his entire adult life serving as a positive role model for America's most precious natural resource - its children.

Q. Then isn't it inappropriate for him to have included a song on this album entitled "Girl Scout Cookies"?
A. Not at all. Many people enjoy girl scout cookies.

Q. But the song is clearly a double-entendre about performing cunnilingus on underaged girls. Lyrics include "I like to eat my girl scout cookies/I could eat them all night long" and "The coconuts just drive me wild/I buy my cookies right from a child/That peanut butter gits stuck to the roof of my mouth."
A. You've misinterpreted the lyrics. He's actually referring to adult women who dress up in girl scout costumes. It's a common male fantasy.

Q. But there is a photo in the middle of the CD booklet of a smiling Mr. Nugent surrounded by what is clearly a group of 11- and 12-year-old girl scouts. Do you not consider this inappropriate?
A. Now that you mention it, that is an unfortunate coincidence. 'Uncle Ted' designed the booklet before completing the CD, and must not have realized that a photo of girl scouts was included when he wrote the lyrics under discussion. I'll have to get back to you on that.

Q. What is the meaning of the CD cover?
A. The grenade is self-explanatory, and the pink ribbon is Mr. Nugent's salute to the War against Breast Cancer. 'Uncle Ted' is an avid supporter of women's rights and issues.

Q. But didn't you say earlier that the phrase "Love Grenade" is a double-entendre? Why would you put a pink ribbon onto what is symbolically a phallus? That doesn't make any sense at all!
A. No, you misunderstood me. I stated that "Love Grenade" is 'a witty double-entendre'; I did not say that it is 'symbolically a phallus.' What 'Uncle Ted' means by the phrase "Love Grenade" is the metaphorical 'explosion' of love that a man feels for his life partner. This is why he felt that it was so important to include the pink ribbon as a salute to the War against Breast Cancer.

Q. The song lyrics state "Love Grenade, I'm comin in/Love Grenade, Pull the pin/Love Grenade, Look out below/Love Grenade, I'm about to blow." Are you seriously trying to tell me that this song isn't about a penis?
A. Now that you mention it, that is an unfortunate coincidence. 'Uncle Ted' designed the cover artwork before completing the CD, and must not have realized that a photo of a pink-ribboned grenade was included when he wrote the lyrics under discussion. I'll have to get back to you on that.

Q. Moving on, the CD begins with four basic sex-and-partying songs ("Love Grenade," "Still Raising Hell," "Funk U" and "Girl Scout Cookies"), then suddenly takes a bizarre shift into more serious, arguably spiritual content. Would you care to comment on this?
A. You're very perceptive. 'Uncle Ted' is a multi-faceted Renaissance man - singer, songwriter, guitar hero, disc jockey, role model, hunter, American - and he wanted to use this CD as an opportunity to express some of his deeper thoughts and concerns that aren't necessarily what come to mind when you think of the name 'Ted Nugent.'

Q. For example, in both "Geronimo & Me" and the instrumental "EagleBrother," he seems to be allying himself with the Native American.
A. That is true. Mr. Nugent feels a kinship with the Native American spirits, as he states in the chorus "Sitting Bull, Crazy Horse, Geronimo & Me/BloodBrothers, Warriors, fightin' to be free."

Q. Isn't that a bit misleading though? Ted Nugent is an aggressive, gun-obsessed Republican -- exactly the sort of person who would have run the Indians off of their land in the first place.
A. That's a ridiculous accusation. Mr. Nugent feels a kinship to all brave souls, and there are none braver than our Native American brothers, who so desperately fought to protect their sacred land from the US Military warriors.

Q. Then why does he thank "all the US Military warriors" in the liner notes?
A. Now that you mention it, that is an unfortunate coincidence.

Q. Continuing on, could you explain the lyrics of "Spirit of the Buffalo"?
A. Absolutely. In "Spirit of the Buffalo," 'Uncle Ted' is expressing a kinship for the spirit of the brave buffalo who once roamed free over the lands.

Q. Wait a second. He's allying himself with the buffalo?
A. Yes, Mr. Nugent lives in constant awe and reverence of the animal kingdom, and has written this song to celebrate their great wild spirit, beauty and resilience.

Q. Then why does he talk about eating the buffalo at the end of the song?
A. See, now you're focusing on one line. The rest of the song is about how great the buffalo is. Don't dwell on the negatives. That's 'Uncle Ted''s message.

Q. Okay then, now we move to the next song -- in which Ted Nugent allies himself with the "Aborigine."
A. Yes, Mr. Nugent feels strongly that we are all one, regardless of color, and that we must all stand up proudly and fight together for our freedom. He is also an advocate of African-American rights, hence the lyric "Me & Martin Luther/We have a dream."

Q. Was this before or after he told an Anaheim, CA audience, "Obama, he’s a piece of shit; I told him to suck on my machine gun"?
A. That was a political statement about a single individual, and had nothing to do with Obama Barack's status as an African-American. As is clearly manifest in "Aborigine," he dreams of an end to racism in all its forms: "I'm an aborigine, you're an aborigine..."

Q. Was this before or after he told the Houston Chronicle, "If you can't speak English, get out of America"?
A. That was a typo.

Q. That's not true.
A. Sure it is. He actually said, "If you can't sing 'Sandman,' get out of America." He has a running feud with Dewey Bunnell.

Q. You're lying. He was quoted by multiple sources telling a Houston audience, "If you're not going to speak English, then get the fuck out of America." Then he did the same thing in Toronto: "If you can't speak English, get the fuck out of Canada." How exactly does this kind of behavior support his message that "I'm an aborigine, you're an aborigine"?
A. Aborigines speak English.

Q. No they don't! What are you talking about?!?
A. Well, they do now. Since their culture has been decimated. And that's 'Uncle Ted''s message - that we all gotta stick together.

Q. On another topic, why did Ted re-record his old Amboy Dukes psychedelic hit "Journey To The Center Of The Mind" for this release?
A. Because the message of that song is every bit as relevant today as it was 40 years ago.

Q. Isn't it about drug use? And how great it is?
A. Well, no - yes, it is about drugs, but it's an anti-drug song.

Q. "How happy life could be if all of mankind would take the time to journey to the center of the mind"?
A. Well, remember - Ted didn't write the lyrics, only the music. And yes, the song may have originally been supportive of the drug-using lifestyle, but I think it's pretty clear in the new version that Ted is singing ironically.

Q. In what way!?!
A. Well, if you'd been in the studio when he recorded the vocals, you'd understand.

Q. How so?
A. He used lots of air quotes.

Q. Okay, so what is the name of Ted's current back-up band?
A. That would be The NugeGods of Thunder-Love Grenade Bloodbrother Aborigines.

Q. That's an awful name! Did Ted come up with that?
A. No, they were called that before he met them.

Q. See, you're lying again.
A. Absolutely not. 'Uncle Ted' is a true American.

Q. My final question is this: Considering that most of this CD is comprised of underwritten boogie rock and dull electric blooze filled with shitty unoriginal chord changes, how did Ted manage to come up with the excellent hard rock riffs that drive the verses of "Broadside" and "Bridge Over Troubled Daughters"?
A. We don't know. We think he stole them.