Have you heard the new Chris Brown track? "Am I Anything Other Than A Complete Waste Of Oxygen (Steven Gerrard's Ella Ella Ella I'm Going To Hell-a Remix)". It's got a great bassline - punchy and biting, with some nice scratching for the climax. Mind you, it's not a patch on his cover of Maneater (renamed Wifebeater). Rihanna gave the performance of her life the other night with, "S.O.S. please someone help me."

Joking aside, Brown really ought to have just calmed down and driven away. I heard he was shocked and panicking with himself in the immediate aftermath, found it hard to breathe - there was no air. This could haunt him, forever.