Last night I dreamt that I met Alex Turner at a family gathering. (My family, not his; at least, I don't think we're related.) I was hanging out in the kitchen by myself when he swaggered in, all AM-chic. What do you say when you meet your idols? Apparently the best my dream-self could come up with was: How was your Christmas? He looked at me, like, 'really, you get to meet me, Alex Turner, and that's all you've got?' Anticipating his reaction, I explained that I really did care how his Christmas had been and that far from the boring opening comment it seemed, I was hoping that he could use this opportunity to open his heart to me about the joys and disappointments of the festive season. Can't remember what happened next other than waking up and needing to piss.

Over to you...