Why are tattoos nowadays all so wilfully bad? [puffs pipe] I'm sure in my youth then only scary working class men had tattoos and they were all of the fairly standard anchor-on-arm variety, and even when tissue-soft indie boys started getting them they were still like that.

I blame David Beckham and Robbie Williams. Not so much Robbie, at least he has 'Rudebox' in the plus column.

So then, which of you schmindie bellends has a really awful tattoo? Tell us all about it.