Yesterday, my uncle came to our house for dinner, because his wife’s away and he can’t be arsed making his own dinner or something. At dinner, he sat with his mobile ‘phone on the table THE WHOLE TIME. And then, when his ‘phone rang, he answered it RIGHT AT THE TABLE and held the conversation AT THE TABLE. He was all like “I CAN’T TALK FOR LONG, MATE,” in his big booming voice, “I’M HAVING DINNER AT MY BROTHER-IN-LAW’S HOUSE. BLAH BLAH BLAH.” What a wank. My dad called him on it, though, and said “That was quite rude, you toilet.”

Not ten minutes ago, a mobile ‘phone belonging to someone in the office started ringing and someone else walked across the room to answer it and started having a conversation with the person’s sister. She didn’t even say “Yo, Jane isn’t here to answer her ‘phone”, she just picked it up and said “Hello?” and then after a while said “Oh, you don’t know me; this is Linda, one of Jane’s co-workers. Oh, you’re her sister! I’ve heard her talking about you”. WHAT THE FUCK? WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT? If I came back to my desk and someone said “You’re sister rang your mobile, so I answered it” I’d kick them in their flabby puds.

This shit has probably been moaned about, but it needs to be reiterated.

Go go go