When I was little I used to think these people were among the most intelligent in society. You could trust them with your health and you had to respect them.

I've had trouble breathing in the mornings recently but I don't smoke, so I went to my local quack who was bamboozled. She genuinely asked me to suggest my own prescriptions. Her handwriting was worse than mine.

I've seen about three of them now and none of them have a clue.

Tomorrow I'm going for some blood tests. I am almost certain they'll miss the vein and hit a bone or something equally ridiculous.

The long and short of this thread is, if I win the lottery on Saturday, I will never ever set foot in a grotty NHS dirthole in my life again.