Unstoppably brave John Terry says he's "in agony" and could be out for months. Presumably he'll be back in about 2 weeks. Chelsea miss Lampard, Essien and maybe Alex more anyway.

Adam Johnson further endears himself to KiK by saying he might leave City if he doesn't get more games. Sort of. I'd imagine this is exactly the sort of thing that will definitely impress Mancini.

Jermaine Jenas gets a run at the first team for Spurs due to Huddlestone's injury. Just in time for his customary goal against Arsenal.

Roy Hodgson wants to emulate Avram Grant and pay loads of money for Fanni. John Henry's not so keen. BRING BACK KING KENNY etc

The Glazers are seemingly doing something good for United in paying of £200m of something called PiK debt.

The nation builds to a state of fevered indifference ahead of the game against fellow punchlines France tomorrow.