fun - Y/N?

there's this stray cat that comes to my door and i feed it leftover steak and whatever else i have lying around. i've slowly begun to tempt it actually INSIDE but it's cautious as hell, often sprinting in and out. i've petted it a total of 4 times.

it looks really grotty, i wash my hands everytime it's been near me

but i plan to tempt it in with a steak dinner, spike the steak and get it nicely stoned, then drop a cage on its ass and get it onced over by a vet, then i will lock it inside my palace and it will never leave.

is this the worst idea? in my head it feels like it's going to go very smoothly but the reality might have something to say about that.