Hi there,

How are you? How's things? In particular, how's your job satisfaction? Hmmm? When you're squatting there, behind a bush, on a length of dual-carriageway that arbitrarily happens to be marked as 40mph despite BEING A DUAL CARRIAGEWAY, 'shooting' all the motorists, like myself, having the temerity to do 50mph with your speed 'gun', how does that feel?

Is it everything you imagined? When you watched The Bill as a child, your face alight with enthusiasm thinking 'that's going to be me' is this how you imagined that it would turn out? Does it get uncomfortable squatting behind that bush? I bet it does.

I really just wanted to let you know that it's honestly not the money, or even the points on my license, that bothers me, it's the cynicism. There are plenty of places round where I live where traffic can go too fast and be a hazzard in residential areas, why do I never see you there? Why do you decide to camp next to a long straight bit of dual carriageway all day?

Anyway I thought you should know you've taught me a valuable lesson: always have my sat-nav on even when I know where I'm going. It spots 'safety cameras' like yours. Will you be disappointed or releived when I slow to 40mph on the dual carriageway I wonder?

All the best,

Lots of Love,

MrSs