FUCK THE FUCK OFF YOU TINY LITTLE FUCKING CUNTS

i have had bedbugs for about 6 months now. my flat was sprayed with insecticide 5 times last year. for a couple of months at a time they lie low and you start to relax and convince yourself they're gone, then BAM bites all over the place and then you find one in your bed in the morning and can't fucking sleep at night without feeling like stuff is crawling all over you. pretty sure there's such a thing as bedbug-related psychosis, pretty sure i'm getting it

so, the purpose of this thread: tell me some home remedies that might keep the bedbugs at bay so i can go to bed. they can be made up if you want. i'm fully aware that any such suggestions will be a pile of shite, because the internet has reliably informed me that there is no escape from these bastards. but if you're convincing enough maybe i can persuade my brain to believe you for long enough to get some sleep.