As in, a person who is so unbelievably paralytic it makes you:
a) laugh
b) wonder how they'll survive the night

Here's one.

My housemate went for a night out in some Glasgow pub a couple of years back, and was stood at the urinal having a burst. Suddenly, some slaughtered guy comes crashing through the bog door behind him and bounces off each wall, flailing about and mumbling to himself with slobber down his chin, which he succesfully manages to wipe away with a sleeved forearm whilst gripping the sink with the other hand to prevent total collapse.

He manages to steady himself, closes one eye and determinedly focuses on the urinals in front. After a few moments aquainting himself with the motion of his now destroyed internal gyroscope, he steps up to the empty space next to my mate.

He starts to undo his zip to get his chap out but quickly loses balance and falls right back against the opposite wall, chuckling to himself. He steadies himself once more, puts on another look of stern concentration and glares directly ahead again, as though his gaze will tether him to the tiles and help keep him upright.

After another attempt or two at stepping up, he manages to get a good foothold and, looking pleased with himself, puts his hand inside his zip to get the member out. At this point he falls backwards again, so my mate instinctively puts his hand out behind the guys back to stop him from going over completely and more than likely smashing his head open.

"Are you okay mate?"
"Aye, mate, ...... fukkin....aye "

At that moment, as my mate was trying to steady him, he caught a glimpse of the guys trouser area, and noticed that he's actually pulled a lone bollock through the now open zip on his jeans.

My mate stood transfixed in awe as the bloke begins to piss from his still clothed chap whilst pointing his hairy nad at the metal pisser, letting out a lengthy and satisfied sigh as the wee wee spreads out in a dark patch down the inside of his jeans.

Completely oblivious to what is actually happening, the bloke proceeds to shout "THAT'S BETTER". He grins at my mate, slaps him on the back and gives his naked ball a good shake as if to get rid of any remaining drips. He falls back off the step again, stuffs his ball into his jeans and clatters out of the door and back into the evening.

Wonderful.