Porto and Braga reach the UEFA Cup final, with Falcao (what a name) breaking the record for goals scored in an European competition. Admittedly back in the day they probably didn't get to play Shamrock Rovers 17 times, but it's a fine record.

The FA pull no surprises in their continuing ineptitude by delaying the verdict of the QPR hearing, saying it could be on Monday after we've been presented with the trophy. Jesus wept.

SUPER MECHA SUNDAY *transforms into a missile which is shit at the monn, blowing it into two pieces shaped like the Chelsea and Man Utd badges* looms. This will probably compound my misery by us being stripped of the title and Chelsea fluking it with a Darron Gibson shot hitting Cech's bellend and looping back over Van Der Sar.

I hate football