If I said something clever, my father would say 'oh, you're not as stupid as you look', whilst pointing and laughing at me. Yes, I know it's a joke, but you also kind of think it's true, and why is Uncle John laughing too, and granddadn and mummy? :'''(

He would also call me 'Louise with the knobbly knees'. Now, I know this is a term of affection, but I do have quite knobbly knees. He still calls me this sometimes.

Imma go cut myself or put my finger in the toaster, but in the meantime, tell me what your folks used to say to you to fuck up in the name of humour.