Guess I'll kick this off as I'm in a position at this ungodly hour to do so. Am I turning into KiK? God help me.

The punditocracy manage to keep a straight face long enough to agree that yeah, Phil Jones will probably turn out to be a decent piece of business for Ferguson. 17 million though?! Thought the supposed rationale driving United's transfer policy was to target young talent at affordable prices. For 3 million more they could have had, er...

Villa want Roberto Martinez. That would be an interesting and uncharacteristically humble appointment. If he and N'Zogbia leave the Latics are absolutely stuffed, no question.

Tevez kicks off his campaign to bid what will be an agonisingly drawn out adieu from this small, wet country. I wonder if Jaroobchian's told him he'll almost certainly have to take a wage hit in order to play in Serie A. Or that there are in fact 3 restaurants in Manchester.

Chelsea are apparently quite close to signing Romelu Lukaku and are also embroiled in a fairly complicated negotiation to net promising Belgian Kevin de Bruyne from Genk.

Insert other news and aboynamedgoo underneath as you will.