Why are shop assistants in cycle shops such wet blankets?

I'm not a cycling expert (by a long shot) so I want YOUR advice not just vague `uh...well...you could do that...I guess`.

Which shop assistants have left you cold lately?

Also never ask anyone under the age of 30 for advice in a DIY shop. They're all fucking crap as well. Look for one of those old blokes. Or ask me if I'm wandering round, I might not know the answer but god knows I'll bluff it with an air of authority.

Is it hometime?