Seriously, they're not. So all of you dreary, moaning, androgynous borderline asexuals can fuck right off. Seriously, no indie rock cyber-hotty is going to hook up with you just because you've come over all teary and feigned offence by proxy on an internet forum.

This thread is about crumpets. Not crumpet (no double entendre here thank you). CRUMPETS.

Food of the gods?

Answers below: