Look I like a swim as much as the next man, enjoy floating in the sea, occasionally twatting about in some water BUT...

I cannot for the life of me start to do a front crawl....I'll happily do a good few lengths in a kind old man breaststroke or pootling along on my back but as soon as I attempt a proper grownup front crawl, I just run out of breath, veer off course, go about a metre and a half then it all ends ignominiously and splash-some and I resume the former old man breaststroke.

Lol: Breaststroke ;'-)