Following on from my universally well received (some would say critically acclaimed) 'Piccalilli' thread, that pulled in a staggering 20+ replies (thanks to everyone involved) I thought I would venture into the murky world of sauces, bringing to you the definitive champion, the King who sits proudly on his lofty perch and stares down at his court Jesters (ketchup) and lowly serfs (brown sauce).

The winner?

Tomato Ketchup? GET OUT

Brown sauce? GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK

Mayonnaise? GET EVEN FURTHER AWAY FROM ME THEN YOU ALREADY ARE, IMBECILE

No, the winner, is......................

TARTARE SAUCE

*Gasps from the courtroom*

Why? WHy? WHY?

Because it has everything I want in a sauce, THAT IS WHY, IMBECILE

Capers *check*

Gherkins *check*

a mayonnaise base *triple check*

Lemon * another check*

Things I have tried tartare sauce with over the last few weeks

Pizza - OK

Cheese on Toast - OK

Tortellini - OK

Chips - OK

Verdict? SENSATIONAL!!!!111!!

Because it is reasonably hard to find I bought 3 jars from my local Co-Op the other day. The lady at the till asked if I wanted a separate receipt from my extra peanut snickers bar (she thought that I worked in a restaurant or something, HOW DARE SHE)

I said yes, to hide my shame, in case she thought I pregnant!!!111!!