Tuncay announces his medical and signing for Bolton Wanderers before the club even acknowledge interest. Great signing, great man.

Sheffield Wednesday make people want to remove their retinas.

Carling Cup second round. Would post it, but don't want the virgins at DataCo to ruin everything: http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/league_cup/fixtures/default.stm

Maccy at home. Should be fine. Bury to bear Leicester is my cupset prediction.

Fibreglass and Nasri look set to leave, to the relief of everyone who has been bored to death by the respective transfer sagas for the best part of a decade.

Kalinic departs big bad east Lancashire for big bad Ukraine, and Liverpool wrap up the signing of Jose Enrique from Newcastle. Still questions about their defence if they want to challenge for top 4 imo.

Zhirkov booed in Moscow on international duty, even getting pelted with objects from the crowd. Not cool.

PREMIER LEAGUE THIS WEEKEND. FOOTBALL. YES. BACK OF THE NET MY SON.ON MY LEFT PEG, ONE-TWO, DOG AND BONE, STICK IT INNA MIXAAAAAAAAAA

Football.