Blackburn earn their first point of the season at Fulham, while West Brom pick up their first victory at Norwich.

The two Manchester clubs continue to batter everyone. Sergio Aguero tells the press that comparisons to Barca are premature. I can only presume he reads these boards.

Sturridge scores a real piss-taker as Chelsea dominate Sunderland while still struggling to really create chances. Bardsley deliberately stamps on Juan Mata but MotD ignores that in favour of exonerating Kevin Davies. Arshavin is presented with an absolute gift against Swansea while Adebayor continues his habit of scoring on debuts.

Other stuff happened too, included Forest losing yet again (lol), Brighton keeping up their terrific start to the season and Birmingham smashing Millwall in the police's favourite weekend fixture.

I'm not really that good at winding people up. Someone else should do these.