Hello everyone. How are you doing and what have I missed over the past week?

Here's the only notable anecdote from my recent holiday. While my parents, brothers and I thrashed other tourists and ex-pats down at the local Irish bar pub quiz (oh, the glamorous Algarve!), there was the following question: Which sport which was previously open only to men will be contested by women for the first time at the 2012 Olympics?

While we sat and thought about it, my mother, who had polished off most of a jug of sangria by herself over the course of the evening, reeled slightly in her chair, squinted her eyes, and in a surprisingly loud voice, suggested: 'Muff diving'.

WTF, mum?