Boards
ive just had the first if a bout of diarrhoea on the fucking beach surrounded by sheep
Even by my standards this was fucking low but were wild camping (free but no bogs or showers).
Its pissed down for 3 weeks and now the one night i need it to rain its a beautiful evening- the moon is out, stars are shining, and my sloppy mound of orange excrement is waiting to be discovered by some poor child in the morning. Like the carcass of a beached jellyfish its probably glimmering in the moonlight as we speak.
Believe me I really didnt want to have to take a shit on a beach but uncooked bacon and brushing your teeth with seawater mean only one thing.
Worst thing is that i used up most of the paper on the first run and the bowel cramps that preceded that one are fast returning. Soon I fear i shall be wading into the ocean to drop my guts among the crabs.