Then this is your lad - http://www.slate.com/articles/life/culturebox/2013/09/proud_of_being_a_hipster_one_bearded_indie_rock_loving_contrarian_article.2.html

Granted you'll have to get past this gem,

"Today the perpetually splintering brackets of contemporary demographic specificity engender an eternal anxiety of self, one in which we're meant to renew our vows of identity with regularity."

but trust me there's plenty more there to raise your ire, if that's what you fancy for today!