Do we have to call them doormen now? Is bouncers outdated?

I was once queuing for Ballare (formerly Cindies) in Cambridge, the one and only time I went. It's the town's biggest, cheesiest club, and did a big student night on Wednesdays. Anyone who was a Blue (had played sports for the university against Oxford) got free entry and a queue jump, so I had to stand there like a shmuck while twats in poncy blazers swanned past with girls (locally known as Blu-tac) hanging off them.

Then as we approached the door, one guy tried to walk straight in. A doorman grabbed him by his tweed and pulled him out, and the guy started arguing, culminating in the only time I have ever heard this uttered in real life: 'DO YOU KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS?' The doorman did not care and man disappeared into the night.

Once I got inside they played the Baywatch theme twice in a row. It was the worst night ever.