ITV bore us all to death while the British game they don't cover features 7 goals. Young does his thing and Fellaini gets sent off for 26 bookable offences.

Bale scores his first Real Madrid CL goal, the BBC covers it extensively.

Chelsea host Schalke without pog-form Torres while Arsenal go to Dortmund. Defeat there and Arsenal's route to the next stage could be a bit tricky.

Martin O'Neil will play bad cop to Roy Keane's murderous bastard cop.

AOB?