I managed to injure the both of us in my sleep on friday night. I was dreaming that there was a big lorry that was slowly rolling downhill and was going to crush a baby that was lying on the road. So, heroically, in my dream I was pushing desperately against this lorry, trying to stop it from rolling over the baby and crushing it, as any decent person would.

In my struggles I kneed the mrs, waking her up with a dead leg and she turned the lights on to find me no longer in bed but on the floor, braced with two hands on the wall pushing desperately against it with all my might while loudly heaving, profusely sweating and shouting incoherently along the lines of "phnarbahrn phnabarrrnnnnnnn", having grazed both of my knees in my efforts