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LIFE CRISIS THREAD II
Hello, I attempted writing this yesterday morning but the power went out in my house (true story) but now I'm at my parents, in Norwich, off work with stress/depression. Feel free to respond with advice but really I'm just writing this all out for my own benefit:
As you may remember a year and a half ago I posted a thread about not knowing whether to leave Glasgow and the band that made me happy for my girlfriend who had moved to London for work. As you're probably aware I did the latter, but have found myself going full circle.
I was seriously upset by moving away from Glasgow, and I didn't realise how much I didn't want to go until I did it, which lead to me freaking out and getting emotionally attached to a female work colleague as I was leaving. My girlfriend of course found out about this and it put a terrific strain on our relationship. But we did get through it and while I've grown to enjoy my life in London I keep going back to feeling I've made the wrong decision.
I find London equally both incredibly stressful and amazing, but I don't know if it's worth it, as I'm definitely unhappy right now and I'm very homesick for Glasgow, but then I worry I'm just being nostalgic and that it's not really the answer to go back there either. All I know is, commuting in London is the most depressing thing in the world, let alone expensive, endlessly busy and dangerous if I choose to cycle instead, the band I originally moved down for hasn't been all it's cracked up to be (although joining another this Summer has been great so far) and I've yet again found myself growing attached to a female work colleague and is thus taking a toll on my relationship and my mind.
I just don't know what it is I want from life or where I should be going. I don't want to turn my back on another band with the potential to fulfil my dreams, but nothing else works at the moment. Worst of all I live with my long term girlfriend who I'm slowly growing apart from but feel terrible for because she's done nothing wrong, but I feel rude and imposing to stay elsewhere to give ourselves the necessary space, hence my running home after taking the work off "sick".
4.30 ON A FRIDAY PAL?!