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Big D and the Kids Table are an amazingly under-rated ska-core band from Boston, USA. They play a tight mix of punk and ska and their live shows are full of energy. If you like the Mad Caddies, Link 80 or Less than Jake, this is definitely a band to check out. I spoke to them after their recent show in Redditch which involved not only their blinding ska-punk shenanigans but also five naked men dancing onstage! Strange? Read on...
James: “First of all, how are you enjoying your time in Britain?”
Dave: “It’s odd because we started this tour in Britain before we went and did the whole Europe thing. By the end we were like “Gotta get back to England!” It’s like home base for us because we know what’s going on , so after being in Australia and Slovenia, places like that it was like “England! Must get back to England!”
“Do you have any plans to come back?”
D: “Yeah, 6 to 8 months.”
“What are the band listening to at the moment?”
D: “The Ramones, the Kinks, the Tone, Space Base and the Star Wars music! In Austria we were listening to Star Wars and the guy at a toll booth tore my passport apart and it was great because we had Star Wars on and it was like “Your passport is false! It’s the wrong passport!!” and we thought “Oh my God, it’s Star Wars right here!”
“What’s influenced you?”
D: “Op Ivy, Slapstick, Propagandhi, Iron Maiden, Skankin’ Pickle.”
,p>“Who’s your favourite comic book character?”
D: “Other than Wolverine, because when I used to read Wolverine it was when it was new, I like Havoc.”
“If there was one super power you could have, what would it be and why?”
Paul: “X-Ray vision so I could see naked girls!”
Wes: “But you can’t distinguish how far it’d go…”
James: “You’d walk into walls and stuff!”
P: “That’s ok!” D: “I’d just be Superman. I’d dress like Superman and be like “Heeeey!”. It’d be cool!”
James: “Complete the following sentence “Love is…”
D: “Pain?!”
James: “I’ve been listening to a lot of the Ataris and New Found Glory, whiny emo stuff, so if there was one piece of advice you could give teenage guys about girls, what would it be?”
D: “Oooh shit!” P: “Don’t be goofy! Goofy doesn’t work at all!” D: “It’s true, they like the bad guys! Don’t be a fun goofy guy because it doesn’t work!” P: “They tell you they like the fun guy but they don’t!” D: “They don’t! They like the dude in the corner that doesn’t talk to anyone!”
James: “The cold silent type?”
D: “Yeah, we’re all like “Hey!!” and they’re like “No”!!! The other thing is <
“How would you describe the Big D live experience?”
P: “Explosive! I read that somewhere!” D: “Yeah! We read that recently and thought it was cool!”
“Does it usually involve naked men?!”
P: “No, that was first time. It was cool, I liked it!” D: “That was hilarious! It was smelly and scary because they were behind me and I didn’t know what was going on!!”
“Godzilla or King Kong?”
D: “King Kong- he got the girl!”
“What do you think about the British band you’ve played with, especially Cod Locker?”
D: “Assholes! Just fucking assholes! We went to their house and they made us sleep in the garage!” P: “I’ve seen bands dress up and stuff and never pull it off, but you guys totally pulled it off!” D: “And when you sang to Paul!” P: “That made me so happy!” D: “You don’t understand how happy you made him!” P: “I talked about it the whole tour!”
“How did it feel to play in Birmingham in front of 27 people?”
D: “That was fine…it was normal!! Why, how was it for you?! We thought IT ROCKED!!”
“Do you see ska becoming any more mainstream anytime soon?”
P: “No, not in the States. In 5 or 10 years maybe.” D: “It might get huge in Hoola Hoola land, but I’m not sure!”
“What do you think about bands like Blink 182 and Reel Big Fish who’ve made it into the mainstream? Have they sold out?”
D: “Blink 182 are what they are. You can’t expect them to be gutter punks, because they’re not! They’re pop-punk.” P: “They’re not challenging anyone’s heads musically by any means, but they’re fun and danceable.” D: “Alright, let’s tell the truth! We’ve got mad beef with them! We’re looking for them!! We’re gonna kick the crap out of them!!! WATCHOUT BLINK 182!!!”
“If there was one band you’d want to beat up, who would it be?”
D: “Blink 182- You’re fucking dead!!! Oh, and the lead singer from Creed! We’d torture him London dungeon style! We’d use every apparatus!” P: “We’d put him in the Iron Maiden, put screws in his head and finish him with the impaler!”
“If there was one person in the media you could talk to, who would it be?”
D: “Can I have a girl and a boy? First, Steve Buschemi, because I think he’s THE BEST! And your girl Caprice, I’d talk to her. She’s kindda hot but I don’t think she’d go for me!” P: “I’d meet Creed and fucking kill them!”
“What do you think about Britney Spears?”
D: “Well, when I broke up with her she was so dramatic about it that it was fucking ridiculous! I was like, ‘Get a grip Britney”!!!
“What do you think about British women then?”
P: “Well, French girls don’t like us and British girls kindda like us.” D: “Yeah, they think we’re alright, but they yell at us afterwards! German girls are cool…”
Wes: “But don’t they have hairy tits?”
D: “NO!”
“Can you say that for certain?”
D: “Ye….no…kindda! The lights weren’t on! Girls don’t like us, straight up! They like one of us, they like our drummer, but that’s it!”
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“Have you ever had any paranormal experiences involving spoons?”
P: <
“Do you have any spoons on your tour bus?”
D: “No, Jason likes to spoon us though!” P: “Dan got spooned last night by this guy Tom!” D: “You know what spooning is right?”
“I’m guessing…”
P: “Girls love this shit, you guys should all listen!!” D: “Well, the girl lies on the bed, y’know, fetal-style, like they’re just born and the guy’s supposed to…” P: “…go behind then and like cuddle them and that shit…” D: “…and then he has to go, ‘Do you wanna spoon?’” P: “ALL girls want to spoon!!! I think it’s bullshit….but it gives me a hard-on so I’m happy!!”
“What’s your favourite sexual position?”
P: “I’ve never had sex before!” D: “Girls don’t like us! But I like it when the dog’s kindda to the left a little and it’s biting your arm!!!”
Wes: “Do you have any strange sexual fantasies?”
D: “A girl! I’m picturing me with a girl…it’d be so sweet!”
“What’s your favourite type of monkey?”
D: “I hate orang-utans, is that good enough?”
“That’s not good enough…”<
P: “I like the straight up Michael Jackson monkey- Bubbles!” D: “A dead monkey!” P: “A grease monkey!” D: “Creed’s DEAD!!”
Tim: “Do you have any sentimental value attached to any spoons?”
D: “Yeah, I do. At work one day I got a yogurt and at the top of it you can connect the spoon to the lid. It was there when I needed it so it’s always going to be there for me!”
“How did you get your name?”
D: “Well, Paul was studying in Asia and he was trying to finish his thesis on a subject we can’t let anyone know. It was a real BIG D-eal to him and some kids built him a table and it worked out great!” P: “I was so happy.”
“Which is the better flavor of lollipop- lemon or strawberry?”
P: “That was a lame choice dude! You didn’t throw apple in, you didn’t throw grape in…”
“Grape flavor lollipops, what country are you from?!?”
<
“No- lemon or strawberry??”
P: “I guess I’d go with strawberry because it’s more girl coloured!”
<
“Well I’m out. Is there anything else you want to say?”
D: “Yeah, everyone should go to www.forkinhand.com and check out Drexel, The Mission 120, Fine Like Water and the Sellouts! Thank you very much!”
“Is there anything you want to say to the British kids?”
D: “NO!” <
